Friday, June 19, 2020

Handcuffed Stomach


By Mushroom Montoya


I was free at the age of ten.
I raced across the sand,
Laughing, skipping over the wavelets
And diving into the ocean.

No school uniform,
No household chores,
No needing to do or be anything,
Other than a shark, or a dolphin, or even an octopus.

I’d glide with my friends
Along the bottom of the ocean,
And we’d jump up like dolphins.
We were free to play and just be boys.

Being an adult is a different story
Driving up Pacific Coast Highway
Along the Malibu beaches,
Having a good day.

Red and blue lights flashing in my mirror.
Check the speedometer.
Check the street.
Check myself.

Breathe slowly.
Put on your blinker.
Look for a wide spot in the road.
Pull over.

Breathe. Be calm. Breathe.
I stare in my side view mirror.
Why are both of his doors open?
Why isn’t he coming to my window?

Why is he pointing his gun at me?
Why is he asking me to get out of my van?
Oh shit! What is going on?
Did he see my brown skin?

Vibrating all the way to my toes,
I open my door and step out slowly.
Obeying his command to raise both hands.
I breathe with each step
As I walk toward him.

Why is he pointing his gun at me?
Where is my freedom?
My eyes stare at his fingers
On the trigger of his gun.

The salt air licks the sweat on my palms.
I hear the second cop
Talking to my spouse.
The waves crash on the beach.

He looks inside our van.
Seagulls squawk above me
Witnessing my frozen freedom.
He waves his hand to the gun holding cop,
Who puts his gun back in his holster.

My stomach is handcuffed so tight.
Trucks and cars buzz along the highway.
The cop calls me over, asks for my license.
He turns to his partner and nods.

“Your vehicle fit the description of…”
Yes, I know, the description
Of a dark-skinned man driving
A vehicle.

He apologizes for stopping me,
For delaying me,
For scaring me,
For taking away my freedom.

He returns my license
And tells me to have a good day.
Yes, it is a good day
When the cops let me have my freedom back.

I look across the highway,
At the kids on the beach laughing,
Skipping over the wavelets,
And diving into the ocean.   

No comments: