Effervescence Of Acceptance

“You’re so handsome,” she says.

Her words slap my face

With a soft furry boa

That has wasp stingers at the end.

Dark clouds cover the smiling blue sky.

Rain pours its dissatisfaction

On my head, dripping, dripping, dripping

Onto the mirror on the floor

That I step on whenever

Disappointment and failure join

Their eyes like hands

To throw the mud of ridicule

Filled with pebbles that shout

In a million tiny voices

“She’s just saying that to be nice.

You know it’s not true.”

She bends closer to my face.

Her hand reaches up and around my neck.

Her eyes cut deep into mine,

Turning me to stone.

“Why do you insult me?

I give you my truth, my love.

But your eyes raise their shields.

Your lips twist like vines,

Struggling to climb over an invisible wall.

Do you think I am lying to you?

I am telling you my truth

Giving you a precious gift.”

I stand naked,

Feeling exposed in front of an audience,

Not knowing how to respond,

Not wanting to ruin

The moment just before

She said, “You’re so handsome.”

She presses her lips to mine,

Pulling me against her breast,

Wrapping her arms around me and

Whispering in my ear,

“When you look at a litter of puppies

Or a bouquet of roses,

You don’t see any ugly.

You only see their beauty.

Where did you get the idea

That you are not handsome?

Where did you get the idea

That you know what is beautiful to me?”

She takes me to a mirror.

We both look at our reflection.

She squeezes my hand

Sending warm bouquets and puppies.

Her rain sprinkled voice

Requests, “Repeat after me:

I am beautiful to her

I am beautiful to me

We are beautiful together.”

My head bends down.

Her fingers lift my chin.

Fear grips my throat

And binds a strap around my stomach.

Astonishingly, my repeating,

“I am beautiful to her,

I am beautiful to me,

We are beautiful together,”

Breaks fear’s grip,

Splashes a smile across my face,

And bubbles me up

With the happy

Effervescence of acceptance.