By
Mushroom Montoya
I
was free at the age of ten.
I
raced across the sand,
Laughing,
skipping over the wavelets
And
diving into the ocean.
No
school uniform,
No
household chores,
No
needing to do or be anything,
Other
than a shark, or a dolphin, or even an octopus.
I’d
glide with my friends
Along
the bottom of the ocean,
And
we’d jump up like dolphins.
We
were free to play and just be boys.
Being
an adult is a different story
Driving
up Pacific Coast Highway
Along
the Malibu beaches,
Having
a good day.
Red
and blue lights flashing in my mirror.
Check
the speedometer.
Check
the street.
Check
myself.
Breathe
slowly.
Put
on your blinker.
Look
for a wide spot in the road.
Pull
over.
Breathe.
Be calm. Breathe.
I
stare in my side view mirror.
Why
are both of his doors open?
Why
isn’t he coming to my window?
Why
is he pointing his gun at me?
Why
is he asking me to get out of my van?
Oh
shit! What is going on?
Did
he see my brown skin?
Vibrating
all the way to my toes,
I
open my door and step out slowly.
Obeying
his command to raise both hands.
I
breathe with each step
As
I walk toward him.
Why
is he pointing his gun at me?
Where
is my freedom?
My
eyes stare at his fingers
On
the trigger of his gun.
The
salt air licks the sweat on my palms.
I
hear the second cop
Talking
to my spouse.
The
waves crash on the beach.
He
looks inside our van.
Seagulls
squawk above me
Witnessing
my frozen freedom.
He
waves his hand to the gun holding cop,
Who
puts his gun back in his holster.
My
stomach is handcuffed so tight.
Trucks
and cars buzz along the highway.
The
cop calls me over, asks for my license.
He
turns to his partner and nods.
“Your
vehicle fit the description of…”
Yes,
I know, the description
Of
a dark-skinned man driving
A
vehicle.
He
apologizes for stopping me,
For
delaying me,
For
scaring me,
For
taking away my freedom.
He
returns my license
And
tells me to have a good day.
Yes,
it is a good day
When
the cops let me have my freedom back.
I
look across the highway,
At
the kids on the beach laughing,
Skipping
over the wavelets,
And
diving into the ocean.
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