Cowbell

Most people assume that cows are gentle creatures. And they can be. However, when Anthony went to take a bump behind the trees, the cow with the bell didn't take kindly to a human walking close to her calves. She watched him for a short while as he walked into the tree line. But once he was there, and she heard him unzip his pants, her cowbell began to clank as she ran toward the trees where Anthony had planned to do his business. Poor Anthony had to pull up his pants and run as fast as he could and jump over the fence to where John stood laughing. The cow snorted at Anthony and walked back to the herd.
"You're going to have to hold it until we are out of hearing range for these cows," John said grinning from ear to ear.